Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.

Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo.

Malika gave him 1000 Rs.

 

Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?

Malika: Pehli bar kisine behan kaha!


HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....




Officer: Dekho, humme aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho, chust, chalak aur chaukanna ho, jarurat parne par jisse hum daat bhi saake…

 

Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai.

Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai, usse bulau?

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....




Malik alsi nokar se:- Yahan par itne sare machcher gun-gun kar rahen hai tu unhe maar gira.

Thodi der bad

 

Malik:- Abe sale nokar ke bachche maine tujhe machcher marne ko kaha abhi tak tune mare nahi. Woh ab bhi gun-guna kar rahe hai

Alsi nokar:- Malik machcher toh maine maar diye. Yeh toh unki bibi hai jo vidhva ho kar ro rahi hai.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....

Sardar : Yaar meri biwi ghar chodkar bhag gaye. Mona : Tune usse pyaar se nahi rakha hoga. Sardar : Nahi yaar sagi behan se bhi badkar rakha tha.

haaaaaa................................................................................

Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo. Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.
haaaaaa...............................................................................

Bhola: Itne kum marks? Do thappad marne chahiye. Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine oos master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

haaaaaa..............................................................................


 Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai?

Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai!!!

haaaaaa...............................................

Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hai. 10% interest ke hisab se woh 1 saal baad loan vapis karte hai. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?

Bania’s son: Kuch bhi nahi.

 Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.

Banis’s son: Main toh maths janta hoon, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante.

haaaaaa...............................................


Banta class mein – madam maine “abc” yaad karli..
Madam -ok , to sunao..

Banta – abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz…..
Madam - arey aise nahi ….aise suna A for apple

Banta – ok madam…. A for apple.

 

B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.

H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple

V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X’mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for yun na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo apple aur………..





Wife: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye thay.

 

Husband: Kya bataoon, sab galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................


Ek chota baccha bahut der se ghar ke bahar khada darwaje ki ghanti bajane ki kosish kar raha tha.Toh ek budha aadmi aaya aur kaha:

Budha aadmi: Kya kar rahe ho beta?

Baccha: Uncle, yeh ghanti bajana chahta hoon.

 

Budha aadmi (ghanti bajake): Yeh lo bajgaya, ab kya hai?

Baccha: Ab bhago!
 


000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Once Laloo was coming out of airport.

As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo “WAIT SIR“…

 

For which Laloo replied “65Kgs” and moved on…

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Wife: Aji suniye, mujhe kisi mehengi jaga le ke chaliye na ji….

Husband: Chalo, tayyar ho jao…

Guess where he took her….
………
……..
…..
….
…
..
.
.
.
.

Petrol pump!!!

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sometime after independence three great leaders of the country -
Mahatma Gandhi, Lal Bahadur Shastri and Jawaharlal Nehru went to heaven.

 

God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time
on earth. He replied saying he had three! Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Shastri a Mercedes!

Jawaharlal is next and on replying that he had 15 children, God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.

 

Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They ask why God hadn’t given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger, “Some idiot told God that I was the father of the nation!“



Mr. Ravi Soti ji

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